Saturday 24 October 2015

How we may resemble a PEACH : PErsonality And CHaracter

When we grow up most of us are unable to avoid questions like “Who are we ? , what sort of person are we ?,  are we introvert or extrovert ? etc etc …
We consider aspects like nature versus nature ” Oh you’re just like your mum/dad !…. NO….. ” and ultimately we often hear ourselves saying similar things to that which our parents have said to us…and we groan afterwards

I believe that nuture and nature can be happy bedfellows rather than adversaries. The more a young person tries to avoid ending up like their mum/dad the more likely they will become like them rather than their own person with their own thoughts. By focussing their thinking on NOT being like their mum/dad they ignore their own experiences which in tandem with their character mould their thoughts and reactions. They suppress the formation of their own personality by using the mould of the parents to act opposite but turn out the same.
We are born with our own individual character but can choose a personality to suit that character as we travel through life. If we abrogate our responsibilities  to create our own personality of choice or give in to outside pressures, or are prevented by not being giving the space and support to do it, others will form and create a personality for us, consciously or unconsciously. It will be at the behest of others or the mercy of the wind.

Slice a peach in half, what do you see ?  A stone
What dictates the shape of the inside, the stone or the flesh ? Which is harder ? The stone, and it is the stone which dictates the best shape of the peach. The flesh yields to the stone and fits around it so the outside surface is smooth as nature dictates. The peach does not have a rounded-character but a roundish peachy-personality. Corrugated shapes grate with other shapes but smooth gently haired shapes mix more peacefully. So the stone should be the kernel of a smooth inviting and attractive exterior, as the character of our mind should be should be the kernel of a smooth inviting and approachable person.

If we all went around behaving true to our character with little or the wrong personality covering it, introvert or extrovert, fierce or gentle, loud or quiet, there would be unwieldy relationships with others and huge amounts of friction between individual people……….. Oh yeh that’s a mite prevalent !!. However, if we are given the space, love and support when in our formative years to choose our own personality to adequately suit our innate character, we are much the happier for it. The consequence is happier relationships with others, those we naturally like and those we may dislike. The personality/flesh of the peach covers the distinct personality until it is necessary for that character to emerge when situations require it to do; ie moments of danger, great emotion, birth, death etc. Otherwise our character can remain hidden giving our personality form and strength to withstand life in the elements. Symbiotically the flesh of the peach has the softness and flexibility to give with the elements and protect the stone.

This is also true of us. Our character gives strength and purpose to our personality, backbone and direction so to speak. As the stone does with flesh of the peach. Neither works to it’s full potential without the other. Ever bitten on a peach stone ??? How easy would it be to pick a peach with your hand and eat it if it had no stone, just be a mushy mess.
A person with personality but no character is a mushy mess, and conversely a person with character but no personality is unbearable company.
Just a thought……….


©JohnCoughlan

In defence of the “cliché” ….give it a break !

I’ve been thinking a little lately about the CLICHE and I’ve come to the conclusion that it is an entirely misrepresented animal.
A cliché is a phrase, expression, or idea that has been overused to the point of losing its intended force or novelty, especially when at some time it was considered distinctively forceful or novel. The term is generally used in a negative context.

Now, wait a minute there…. a cliche never let down anybody. It is we the user who doesn’t live up to the cliche, that is why it fails. The biggest cliche there has ever been is…… I LOVE YOU. Well if a 3 year old turns around tomorrow morning and says it to their mum for the first time, does it lose any of it’s force for it being the the lovetillionth time this exhausted, overused phrase has been used ??? NO

Cliches never let us down, we let them down. Time and time again.

Thank you……. ( another cliche ) :)

©JohnCoughlan

Friday 9 October 2015

Strengths and Weaknesses

Reflections on strengths and weaknesses
and how they fit into our whole
how often they seem to simply swap places
switching to adopt the opposite role
So what dictates whether character trait
appears as strength or weakness thus
no trait can be seen in simple isolation
circumstances can dictate it as a minus or plus
Of all the factors determining effect
timing and environment play a crucial part
in the battle involving our strengths and weaknesses
on the canvas of the human mind and heart


©JohnCoughlan

Monday 5 October 2015

Specific continuity

“Specific continuity yields special linear relationships so obvious such higher random meaning gets simple, even near redundant, turning genuine educated deduction not termed doubt to obscure elementary yet typical lexicon, nascent to ………… OBFUSCATION….. ”     J Coughlan   29/01/2008

What does that mean ??…… It means…… ” Beware…. ”
when someone knows how to play with words, they can use the right words to disguise the fact that they’re describing that all the words start with the last letter of the previous one. This means that someone can cleverly use jargon to hide the true meaning of what they are saying and it not be obvious that they are doing so…..


©JohnCoughlan

Sunday 4 October 2015

Our individual futures and the ladder of our dreams.

Our individual futures are an evolving creation,
potentially a full projection of our dreams….
though if we decline to dream at all, or dream weakly,
we then leave our personal futures to the mercy of others,
whose dreams may be detrimental or even calamitous to us,
as unfortunately, it is not the most wonderful which prevail
but the strongest and toughest dreams which come to fruition.
To ensure that our personal dreams come true,
we must first invest them with intention, sincerity and honesty.
Our own personal dreams need not be likely, or even probable,
but they must be POSSIBLE, within the confines of natural laws.
Dreams that extend outside the perimeters of natural law
have a name, they are called FANTASIES.
If someone forces a fantasy to assume the form of a dream,
then it can only precipitate a negative end for themself and others involved.
When we dream, and dream with all our heart, much becomes possible.
When we refuse to dream, the dreams of others subsume our futures.
The process of atrophy governs the fact that unless we exercise the
projection of our dreams we will never escape our past or our limitations,
and our imaginations will wither and our dreams evaporate.
The only reliable ladder we have available to us is one built of dreams and love.

©JohnCoughlan