When we grow up most of us are unable to avoid questions like “Who
are we ? , what sort of person are we ?, are we introvert or extrovert
? etc etc …
We consider aspects like nature versus nature ” Oh you’re just like your mum/dad !…. NO….. ” and ultimately we often hear ourselves saying similar things to that which our parents have said to us…and we groan afterwards
I believe that nuture and nature can be happy bedfellows rather than adversaries. The more a young person tries to avoid ending up like their mum/dad the more likely they will become like them rather than their own person with their own thoughts. By focussing their thinking on NOT being like their mum/dad they ignore their own experiences which in tandem with their character mould their thoughts and reactions. They suppress the formation of their own personality by using the mould of the parents to act opposite but turn out the same.
We are born with our own individual character but can choose a personality to suit that character as we travel through life. If we abrogate our responsibilities to create our own personality of choice or give in to outside pressures, or are prevented by not being giving the space and support to do it, others will form and create a personality for us, consciously or unconsciously. It will be at the behest of others or the mercy of the wind.
Slice a peach in half, what do you see ? A stone
What dictates the shape of the inside, the stone or the flesh ? Which is harder ? The stone, and it is the stone which dictates the best shape of the peach. The flesh yields to the stone and fits around it so the outside surface is smooth as nature dictates. The peach does not have a rounded-character but a roundish peachy-personality. Corrugated shapes grate with other shapes but smooth gently haired shapes mix more peacefully. So the stone should be the kernel of a smooth inviting and attractive exterior, as the character of our mind should be should be the kernel of a smooth inviting and approachable person.
If we all went around behaving true to our character with little or the wrong personality covering it, introvert or extrovert, fierce or gentle, loud or quiet, there would be unwieldy relationships with others and huge amounts of friction between individual people……….. Oh yeh that’s a mite prevalent !!. However, if we are given the space, love and support when in our formative years to choose our own personality to adequately suit our innate character, we are much the happier for it. The consequence is happier relationships with others, those we naturally like and those we may dislike. The personality/flesh of the peach covers the distinct personality until it is necessary for that character to emerge when situations require it to do; ie moments of danger, great emotion, birth, death etc. Otherwise our character can remain hidden giving our personality form and strength to withstand life in the elements. Symbiotically the flesh of the peach has the softness and flexibility to give with the elements and protect the stone.
This is also true of us. Our character gives strength and purpose to our personality, backbone and direction so to speak. As the stone does with flesh of the peach. Neither works to it’s full potential without the other. Ever bitten on a peach stone ??? How easy would it be to pick a peach with your hand and eat it if it had no stone, just be a mushy mess.
A person with personality but no character is a mushy mess, and conversely a person with character but no personality is unbearable company.
Just a thought……….
©JohnCoughlan
We consider aspects like nature versus nature ” Oh you’re just like your mum/dad !…. NO….. ” and ultimately we often hear ourselves saying similar things to that which our parents have said to us…and we groan afterwards
I believe that nuture and nature can be happy bedfellows rather than adversaries. The more a young person tries to avoid ending up like their mum/dad the more likely they will become like them rather than their own person with their own thoughts. By focussing their thinking on NOT being like their mum/dad they ignore their own experiences which in tandem with their character mould their thoughts and reactions. They suppress the formation of their own personality by using the mould of the parents to act opposite but turn out the same.
We are born with our own individual character but can choose a personality to suit that character as we travel through life. If we abrogate our responsibilities to create our own personality of choice or give in to outside pressures, or are prevented by not being giving the space and support to do it, others will form and create a personality for us, consciously or unconsciously. It will be at the behest of others or the mercy of the wind.
Slice a peach in half, what do you see ? A stone
What dictates the shape of the inside, the stone or the flesh ? Which is harder ? The stone, and it is the stone which dictates the best shape of the peach. The flesh yields to the stone and fits around it so the outside surface is smooth as nature dictates. The peach does not have a rounded-character but a roundish peachy-personality. Corrugated shapes grate with other shapes but smooth gently haired shapes mix more peacefully. So the stone should be the kernel of a smooth inviting and attractive exterior, as the character of our mind should be should be the kernel of a smooth inviting and approachable person.
If we all went around behaving true to our character with little or the wrong personality covering it, introvert or extrovert, fierce or gentle, loud or quiet, there would be unwieldy relationships with others and huge amounts of friction between individual people……….. Oh yeh that’s a mite prevalent !!. However, if we are given the space, love and support when in our formative years to choose our own personality to adequately suit our innate character, we are much the happier for it. The consequence is happier relationships with others, those we naturally like and those we may dislike. The personality/flesh of the peach covers the distinct personality until it is necessary for that character to emerge when situations require it to do; ie moments of danger, great emotion, birth, death etc. Otherwise our character can remain hidden giving our personality form and strength to withstand life in the elements. Symbiotically the flesh of the peach has the softness and flexibility to give with the elements and protect the stone.
This is also true of us. Our character gives strength and purpose to our personality, backbone and direction so to speak. As the stone does with flesh of the peach. Neither works to it’s full potential without the other. Ever bitten on a peach stone ??? How easy would it be to pick a peach with your hand and eat it if it had no stone, just be a mushy mess.
A person with personality but no character is a mushy mess, and conversely a person with character but no personality is unbearable company.
Just a thought……….
©JohnCoughlan
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